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Moron of the Month #2

By samantha | February 7, 2009

No one guessed last month that Oprah Winfrey is a whole lotta moron (I don’t know why; it seems obvious to me), so there is no link to a winner’s site this month.

But, you have an opportunity this month to guess who the moron is simply by looking at the blacked out image to the right and guessing who that may be. This one looks a bit tough this time around, so the only hint I can give to start you off would be to consider nutjobs in the news presently.

Ya, I know, could be just about anyone. But, that’s all your getting. Lol. Good luck.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Month posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. At the end of the month, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess’s site. Will you be the winner this month? It’s free advertising and awesome bragging rights, so give it a shot!

PS - this isn’t going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

Topics: Ranting | 198 Comments »

Moron of the Month #1 Revealed

By samantha | January 31, 2009

This month’s moron is, of course, Oprah Winfrey. No one got it regardless of how obvious it is that she’s a moron, so there is no link to give this month.

And, she is the moron this month even though I don’t know who it should be more - her or her fans/followers?

Nah, it’s still Oprah.

And, she’s a moron for so very many reasons. First, and foremost, she is PETA’s Person of the Year 2008 for crying out loud. Anyone associated with that cr*p is a moron right from the get-go.

And, to top it all off, PETA tried to get Oprah to pose nude for the activist cult.

“…if she doesn’t pose, her animal-loving friends and fans will be infuriated.”

If she does, however, I will blow chunks along with everyone else. EWWWWW!

And, speaking of weighty issues, I’m am so sick and tired of hearing about this moron’s roller coaster ride of diet problems. She’s fat, she’s thin, fat, thin, fat, thin. Who cares already, just get her off the screen. I mean, this is a woman who’s buying the Discovery Health Channel to create the OWN channel: the Oprah Winfrey Network. Miss Chunky PETA 2008 is creating her own health network?

If she could only follow her own advice….

Oprah January 2009

Enough with the yo-yo; the billionaire can afford a constant trainer, can’t she? I mean, if she wants to be thinner, then stick with it. Just stick to anything, but stop the yo-yo’ing. We’re all getting dizzy and nauseous.

But, aside from all that, I think there are two major reasons why Oprah deserves to be called the moron of the month: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. I mean, seriously, could daytime tv get more pathetic? And, the fan-base. Don’t get me started. Those are the ones who seem to be highly educated and chock-full of logic and common sense *heh - they’re about as brilliant as they come, aren’t they?

I mean, they’re obsessive to the point of mauling fellow Oprah worshippers, like Orit Greenberg, just to get a seat at the show and the coveted freebies she gives, as well.

“Greenberg says that she, along with an ‘excess number of patrons’…were told to enter the studio and sit ‘where they wanted, causing a stampede. She says was pushed down a flight of stairs as the rabid fans ‘rushed the gate’ while pushing and shoving one another.”

All that for lousy gifts like a $1000 dollar debit card that can only be spent on charitable causes.

Nice. So, those fabulous “gifts” are actually “tax write-offs” for the celeb moron. I think we could have figured that one out on our own, but talk about feeling cheated as an audience member.

Although…, maybe it serves them right for actually appearing as audience members.

Lol.

I think the thing that seals it for me is the way she “didn’t” use her show as a platform for the election of Barrack Obama.

Ya right. As if disallowing Sarah Palin to appear on the show wasn’t a subtle way of saying, “vote for Obama”. And, as if throwing her money into the Obama campaign and appearing everywhere with him wasn’t platform. It may not have physically been on the Oprah stage, but the win was so, definitely, all about her tv persona, the show, and all the money that came with it.

Someone, please, put her back on her leash and put her back in the dungeon. I’m just done with watching her turn politics into a sham. Kinda like the way the women from The View gave McCain the shabby treatment. Appalling.

So, yes, Oprah, you do deserve to be the 1st Moron of the Month. Our only hope is that this is true: The Oprah Winfrey Show will End in 2011. I think Obama’s mantra is well suited here: we can only hope.

But, who knows, maybe you’ll eventually acquire the glorious MOTY award of 2009.

More on the Moron:
Oprah’s Tears For Suicide Bombers
Third Moon of Oprah Discovered
Maui Wowie
Oprah Poops Out Again
Oprah Pooped On This Time
Oprah Fooled Again by Fake Love Tale
A Sighting Rarer Than Sasquatch …
Something to really disgust you: Extra Toe-prah Winfrey?
THIS WEEK’S SYNDICATED COLUMN: Oprah’s Book Snub
Ex: Oprah Taught Me How to Do Crack
EWWWWW

Topics: Moron of the Month | 266 Comments »

Moron Reminder

By samantha | January 28, 2009

As of today, no one has guessed who could be the Moron of the Month.

You only have a few days left to guess it; it’s worth a try - a link to your site, self-gratification… I mean self-pride. Whatever, just guess.

The image is in the black and white on the right of this screen. Who is it?

Topics: Moron of the Month | 162 Comments »

The Secret Agenda Of The United States

By samantha | January 25, 2009

I really don’t know why. Perhaps it’s a deep-seated fear of a second attack at Pearl Harbor, or perhaps it’s the thought of Japanese cars taking over the world and crushing the US automaker’s economy, or could it be the unrelenting fear that the Japanese are creating an indestructible robot army in order to become the next greatest world power? I don’t know.

But, one thing I do know is that the US seems to have a secret agenda to ‘dumbify’ the Japanese people.

Japanese learn English using Obama speeches

Aspiring English speakers in Japan have made President Barack Obama’s book of speeches and accompanying CD a national best-seller.

In Aichi, central Japan, a Buddhist monk has reportedly been playing the president’s speeches during his temple service. And dozens of students in an English-language class in Tokyo have been memorizing his 2004 Democratic Convention speech to improve their understanding and pronunciation.

I’ve only got one thing to say to that, Impeach Obama. (thanks goes to 123beta for that link).

I mean, yes, it would be a bit of a larf to teach the Japanese, or anyone for that matter, via former President George W. Bush’s speeches, but at least his ideas and exemplary objectives behind it would have come through. With Obama’s speeches being the focus for learning, I can just imagine all the hokey liberal cr*p being spewed to those poor novices.

Enough with all the yapping about “hope” and “journeys” and “pursuing happiness”, get the frick down to business! Quit ripping off the presidential speeches of those who came before you and start doing your job. You may not be the best choice, but you’re all the US has, so get to it!

Sam's Inauguration Print

Topics: Crazy News | 219 Comments »

Golden Showers And Jellyfish Stings… Your Way To A Better Sex Life?

By samantha | January 14, 2009

Ew.

Don’t ask why, or how, I came across an ED website - that is, an erectile disfunction site - but I did.

And, I found this article quite amusing and had to share it with you.

Move over Viagra buyers, say hello to… ummm… jellyfish.

Geez, I never thought something so flimsy and flaccid as a jellyfish could stiffen a Stanley.

Lol.

Thanks or no thanks (whichever way you want to look at it) to the Irukandji Syndrome that comes as a result of jellyfish stinging, a man achieves a prolonged erection that is said to rival the effects of Viagra.

Talk about an erection injection!

So, go ahead fellas, and sting your thing. Heck, you can even cure the pain of the jellyfish sting by exploiting your urophilia and partner up in some watersports.

But, beware…

While jellyfish stinging can do wonders for males who have a hard time achieving and maintaining an erection, it can also result to severe cerebral hemorrhaging and blood pressure increase which be fatal. It can also lead to cramps, breathing difficulties, cardiac problems and vomiting. These medical conditions may be too much of a trade-off just so one can get an erection.

Ya, and nevermind the unfathomable pain, too, eh.

Topics: Ranting | 170 Comments »

Just Putting This Out There

By samantha | January 13, 2009

I will vote for anyone, and I mean anyone, in the next federal election who vows to make it a law in which one can “whack” one’s boss.

I’m talking to you Conservative Party leader and Canadian Prime Minister Harper, or *blech* liberal leader Michael Ignatieff, or even *what am I thinking* Jack Layton.

I mean, seriously, today at work was a rough day; this week was a rough week; the past month has been a rough month. And, it’s probably due to cr*ppy management around the office; so to whack the boss, that would be bliss right about now.

I guess, for now, I’ll have to live with this….

Whack Your Boss

Come on. Can I? Try the stapler, or the wall. Heh heh heh.

“I believe you have my stapler.” (What am I referencing here, anyone?)

Future Archaeology

For more fun, kill your boss stuff, check out this site: killourboss.com

Topics: Extras | 153 Comments »

Jacking Jungle Jane

By samantha | January 8, 2009

Or, is it jacking off to Jungle Jane?

blow up doll

It seems a weird crime spree has been occurring in Cairns, Australia in which some dude has been breaking into sex shops and making off with blow up dolls.

The owner of the adult shop, who wished to be named only as Vogue, said that in a first unreported break-in, the man had stolen five dolls and had sex with one of them.

“He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley,” he said.

I really don’t want to know if he left behind any DNA evidence.

I really don’t.

His favourite blowup gal pal was a “lady” by the name of Jungle Jane.

Jungle Jane sex doll

Talk about getting off from stealing!  Although, I don’t know how anyone could still be aroused after 30 minutes of blowing the doll up.

And… I don’t want to know.

I really don’t.

Topics: Crazy News | 347 Comments »

Have A Great New Year!

By samantha | December 31, 2008

I’m going to be extending the Moron of the Month since I just posted it a little while ago and there aren’t enough players yet.

I know it’s going to take some time to get my readers back since many still don’t know that I’m attempting a come back. So, hopefully I can make some headway when it comes to viewers. But, that also means I need to find more time to blog. Hoping that will come in the New Year, as well.

Resolution #1: Blog more

happy-new-year09

And, yes, I stole this image from someone else. Happy New Year!

;-P

Topics: Ranting | 119 Comments »

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

By samantha | December 24, 2008

I hope you all have a great holiday.  I can’t wait for the New Year to bring you more ranting and ravings.  Until then, I thought you might like a little holiday story to read to put you in the Christmas spirit.

I find James Finn Garner’s Politically Correct Holiday Stories to be hilarious, and you may too.

Below is an excerpt of one of my favourites in which Santa comes to deliver toys to some enviro-weenie’s house.  Follow the link to read the full story…

‘Twas the night before Solstice

…I could scarcely believe what invaded our house.
This carcinogenic and overweight louse

Was so red in the face from his energy spent,
I expected a heart attack right there and then.

Behind him he toted a red velvet bag
Full to exploding with sinister swag.

He asked, "Where is your tree?" with a face somewhat long.
I said, "Out in the yard, which is where it belongs."

"But where will I put all the presents I’ve brought?"
I looked at him squarely and said, "Take the lot

"To some frivolous people who think that they need
to succumb to the sickness of commerce and greed,

"Whose only joy comes from the act of consuming,
Thus sending the stock of the retailers booming."

Lol, the ending of the full story is great.

Topics: Ranting | 148 Comments »

Moron of the Month

By samantha | December 21, 2008

I am attempting a new version of moron of the week, called Moron of the Month.  Call it my little Christmas present to all of you who enjoyed the game so much.

For those of you who remember, I played a game in which a blacked out image was put on the side of my site and people would guess who it was of.  At the end of the week, I would post the results of the image with the actual picture and a detailed explanation of why the person was a moron.  The winner would get esteemed recognition and bragging rights for being the first to guess correctly.

I’m going to try this again on a monthly scale.  That is, I will post the blacked out image at the start of the month; and at the end of the month, I will reveal the moron and the winner of the game.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Month posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. At the end of the month, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess’s site. Will you be the winner this month?

PS - this isn’t going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

Topics: Moron of the Month | 142 Comments »


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